December 30, 2009

Sensing Subtle Energies

Tried an exercise last night, percieving and sensing subtle energies. At the first instance, less than a minute of moving my hands I felt the energy in between which was very subtle. Continuing with the practice the energy became more dense.

I would recite the statements then close my eyes and wait for the energy to increase. There was a gentle magnetic force pulling both hands in together. I would then stretch my hands out a little and then back in and there was that resistance mentioned in the article. I made a final statement to draw the energy within me, amazingly I felt it move into my chest where there was a slight constricted feeling that smoothed out, then tingles spread throughout my body.

A few years ago when I began exploring astral projection I had tried out a few energy percieving exercises (most on how to percieve aura and trying to create psi balls). One sunny day trying to percieve energy between my index fingers a few centimeters apart I was able to feel the same pressure. The energy oozed up so much I saw a misty smoke flowing outwards. I was definitely left astounded but at that time I didn't feel the pull to continue the practice. However, now I feel drawn to exploring these areas.

December 27, 2009

Chewing Incidents

Last night while browsing on the net finding information in which I could put together all the recent experiences into something that fits I happened upon an ebook that really got my thinking process slowing down and instead a switch in my head began to click. It's called Self Healing Handbook by Clive Shane Hetherington. I was reading but absorbing information on a deeper level, so far all that I read deeply resonated with me so much that I repeated an invocation statement (can't recall which one).

Once I got to bed I didn't think much about what to expect. Around 3am I was awakened by my teeth chattering which was slowing down the more aware I became. There was another presence but it did not seem to be outside, external to me instead it seemed more from within. I let the chewing play out for a bit. There was a message in non-verbal communication however retaining the memory of it in that condition seems somewhat difficult. When the chewing ended I vaguely recalled the message but thought I'll remember it later (next time I'll be sure to make quick notes).

45 mins later fell asleep only to dream about chewing and biting. In one dream there is a man based in some control room - he has monitors that reveal footage from CCTV cameras. On one monitor there were two women, twins with fiery red cropped hair in white garments. They kept chewing something and somehow their bodies entangled. On another monitor there's a woman wearing white, she is convulsing and chewing. I'm creeped out by this and wonder if the man even notices that these psychotic people are coming after him.

In another dream I'm at the Dental Surgery to book an appointment, I fear that I've damaged my teeth from the incessant uncontrollable chewing. I'm being refused to be seen by any dentist because everyone's on lunch break. For some reason this agitates me.

In another dream, perhaps most intense because it appeared to be actually taking place, I was in bed with the uncontrollable chewing. My jaw slipped left and right, I was grinding my teeth with sudden biting. I stick my tongue out only to bite it so I pull it back in. I have no control over this so I seize any further attempts to do anything about this. The grinding is shifting my teeth apart causing excruciating physical and emotional pain.

Not sure if these experiences were due to the invocation statement or perhaps it had simply amplified a deeper healing process that has already been set in motion. I will continue to use these statements and will report back anything relevant.

Alternate Reality False Awakenings

I've experienced an increasing amount FAs in the past few days always in the mornings some half an hour before I wake up. In each FA my house is always different, but I don't notice it at the time. At the same time there are things in these FAs, small incidents that are connected to this current reality. It seems these incidents are highly probable in this current reality.

They are confusing, perhaps because the FAs come in such an abundance I find it difficult to wrap my mind around it. Dreams are also continuously shifting giving a more theatrical feel to them, very much like stories and plots from movies only now there's more scenes. Unfortunately unable to write about these since they are too long.

December 21, 2009

Brief Update

Last night felt pressure streaming down left part of face and the usual bodily energetic sensations. . Saturday night as I turned in for sleep my face started to squint, a spontaneous smile formed with a nice warm feeling inside - it felt really good.

There's also the occasional jaw slip and involuntary biting and chewing, it's not so alarming and I've noticed as soon as I become conscious of the movements they begin to slow down.

I've been hearing crickets chirping at night, they're very loud. I seem to be the only one hearing them.

December 19, 2009

Chip Implant Convulsions - Possible Soul Retrievals

Last night while in bed I wasn't quite ready for sleep so I thought I'd just try to be attentive to my thoughts and basically wherever my attention went I'll follow it. I should note here that I also made a request for spirit guides. I'd think random stuff and it wasn't long until I began hearing voices. Very audible and clear, there were too many voices to remember any of the sentences - mostly just rambling stuff. I fell asleep but awakened several times. I kept having these weird dreams and FAs.

In one dream I am watching something on a monitor - it's a clip of a teenage boy and he's demonstrating a type of convulsion he gets due to kundalini. Then another clip, same boy sets up his camera in front of his bed, lays down and few minutes later he is convulsing. This seizure was more dramatic, his head and arms thrashing violently. I could hear two women making a comment 'This is wrong, he's too young he shouldn't be medling in this stuff.' Her ignorance annoyed me as I knew that some people don't medle in this stuff - it just happens. I woke up about 2am and attempted to sleep around 5am.

I was lying down on my belly when suddenly there was a movement in my rectum, it was pumping upwards with severe force. This has happened before but I would use all my might to stop the sensation. This time I knew I couldn't - the force was greater than my will. I phased in and out, aware of the sensation and then in some alternate reality type of false awakening. This continued for what seemed like eternity. At some stage the bed was shaking, I've never experienced an earthquake but I'd imagine this is what it would be like.

There was a male voice saying 'We're going to make some changes now.' I percieved this voice to be coming from the right, externally and not in my head. After that I began to hear other voices, a group of people speaking amongst themselves. I had the sense that I was no longer in my room. The voices increased in quantity as well as loundness and I felt as though I was surrounded by a very large crowd. There's the sound of a drill and an impact on the back of my head. The sensation at first was tolerable even though it felt more like a mini chainsaw instead of a drill.

A voice in my left ear alarmed me. It spoke a language that was so foreign I believe it was an alien. Even it's voice had an alien quality. At this point the sensation got stronger, I began convulsing. My head shot upwards, my arms would move in a violent manner much like what I witnessed in the dream state. To the onlooker I would appear to be having an extremely dangerous seizure. My awareness remained throughout, since I couldn't force myself out of this one I observed as much as I could.

The sensation eventually got to the point where it felt like either the back of my head was being implanted with a chip or it was being removed, at least it was a piece of some kind of solid material. At the same time that this incident was nearing its end the voices sounded like they were being sucked away or soothed to silence and the idea of 'Soul Retrieval' came to mind. I woke up with a fizzing in the back of my head.

December 15, 2009

Musical Notes Behind Ordinary Sounds

For a while now I've been hearing unusual sounds, at first it sounded very distant - it would always occur just before an aeroplane passes by. It sounds like a musical note from a flute, a soft subtle sound. I didn't make much of it, just rationalizing, but now the sounds are becoming more alive. It's almost as if behind every ordinary sound there is a celestial musical note. It's beautiful.

When I relax and my attention is completely on my hearing, particularly in my right ear I can feel a fluttering sensation.

Past Life and the Future

The Past Life
Last night in a relaxed state I felt like I was going to sleep like a baby, unfortunately that was not to be the case. In that relaxed state I began seeing partial images and just drifted off thinking very little of them. Then in my minds eye there was a sudden flash of an image where the characters came to life. There were two men, I can't quite remember how they were dressed. One man had a sword in his right hand and thrust it into the upper abdomen of this other man who seemed to be completely off guard.

At the instant that the sword had pierced through my right hand flinched and rested on the invisible wound. More disturbing than this re-enactment was the sound of the dying man which was ringing in my ears. Immediately I registered it as a past life incident and not something drawn from imagination. I'm not too sure about the nature of past lives but for the time being I feel this particular experience fits into that box.

After this I managed to get in a deep sleep but awakened at 2am, this time sleep was impossible - my mind was on auto, it was doing all the thinking for me. Questions were raised and I had to get to the bottom of these, things that relate to me personally. I had to, not resolve these questions because they did not represent problems, instead there was a deeper urge to understand some of my opinions, beliefs and convictions I have about certain things. Interestingly this was accompanied by energetic sensations.

The Future
I could not sleep until about 5am, and the external noise of birds were not helping much. I focused exclusively on my breathing and as I relaxed a little, tingling electrical currents surged up my legs. A few minutes later I heard my mum sobbing and mumbling something in the distance, she sounded traumatized as if something catastrophic had taken place. Then I wondered how on earth she got to London that fast since she was thousands of miles away in another country and I had just spoken to her on the phone that evening. Despite my rational mind and it's logical function I tried to get up to see what was going on, but some force weighed me down. The electrical fizzing in my legs restarted and I found myself raising up - I made an astral exit. I looked around my room, it was the same room but the furniture were completely different, the only thing I recognized was the carpet.

Mentally I rummaged through the room, scanning to find some of my stuff but nothing looked familiar to me. I got this impression, a gut feeling that I was in the future. It was more of an absolute knowing, as I floated about the house I briefly saw the new tenants which only confirmed this knowing. In particular there was a woman carrying a baby around. I wondered what year it was but the capacity for my mind to try and understand had become so fragmented. I ended up having some weird FAs and finally woke up.

December 11, 2009

Inner View of the Sun

Last night, before sleeping practiced diaphragmatic breathing for a few minutes. When I stopped controlling the breath I got ready for some sleep. Eyes closed, replacing the darkness behind the lids I could see an orange glow covering the entire field of vision. At first it was a deep orange and suddenly it got lighter and brighter. It looked like how the back of the eyelids would appear orange in front of the sun only the brightness of the sun is endlessly increasing to such an intensity it would cause blindness.

It happened in an instant - it was fear that snapped my eyes open. I seriously began wondering whether I can go through with any of this because of this level of fear that comes with every new special effect. Or maybe that's the point - to face these fears.

December 10, 2009

Meditation

I have been able to meditate on a few occasions in the past few days. Each time there were energetic sensations. I would get deeper and suddenly my arms would make explosive movements, there was one time I was able to move somewhat beyond this.

In one session prior to falling asleep, with my mind very still there was an awareness of a pressure in the left side of skull. The pressure eventually filled up the entire space in my head, it felt like my brain was being pumped and my skull was ready to crack open. My head felt like a helium balloon ready to float away as soon as my body would let go. I felt if my entire body was pumped with this I would begin to levitate.

I have also been practicing the alternate nostril breathing method - just the one time so far. I did one round and the energy surged through the left big toe, up my left leg, reached the left buttock where I felt a tremor that lasted a good few minutes.

Dietary Changes

For the past two weeks I've been sleeping without any interruptions. However, during the waking hours I'm feeling the movement of this energy even more and now it has gotten to the point where it doesn't really startle me. I'm getting so used to it that it feels normal. There were two occasions that did startle me. On one occasion I bent down to pick up a piece of paper and as I did had vomit travel up my gut and stuck in my throat. On another occasion while snacking on some sour cream pringles my tongue spontaneously made a quick movement - I ended up taking a bite out of my tongue. Body trying to tell me something?

This tongue event is quite interesting as some days later I felt inspired to look into changing my diet and I'm currently researching more about the raw food diet. This need to change diet came from the urge to be simple as opposed to just for health benefits, but it seems the effect of simplicity is good health. And it's not just that, I've been reading up some detailed information on Kundalini which have been a good influence. I've listed some websites on the right side of this blog.